The Second Male Puberty.

So he left her. My Brother in law that is. Almost immediately after having their second child he upped sticks and fucked off.

There were warning signs along the way. A very unsubtle roving eye and he totally withdrew into himself, choosing only to communicate in grunts and insults. He was transforming into somebody else right before my sister’s eyes. We all witnessed the bizarre metamorphosis, he’d regressed to a moody teenager.  He felt grounded and was going to throw a tantrum until life went his way.  It got very ugly, very fast.

My very sweet and kindhearted little sister was in pieces. Absolutely grief stricken. When someone dies you can grieve for the loss. The pain is knowing they’re never coming back. But when the spirit of someone you love dies in front of you, only to be reborn as someone new – someone alien, what’s the grief process for that? How do you process a death when that person is still alive?

Invasion of the body snatchers. Or to be more precise – Second Male Puberty.

People change, we all know that, but what we don’t always make plans for is that at a certain point in life, mid life to be precise, some people change back. They revert to the last point in their lives that they felt attractive, desired and free.

But here’s the deal, we all feel like that in middle age. 

However, most of us are mature enough to handle these new feelings  within the construct of the life we have built around us. Not burn it all to the ground.

We realise there is no going back. We try to change our current lives in a positive way without regressing. We work at it, messily, childishly, perhaps over compensating with whatever self medication we can lay our sweaty hands on, be it beer or avocado.

Or we don’t, we just glide through it. We tip our caps to our second puberty impulses, acknowledging them with a wry smile and raising a glass.

He’s a Surfer now. That’s right, got himself a VW camper, surfboards and a younger girlfriend. He’s a developed a “Best Mate” approach to parenting and like’s to say “Dude” a lot. His Kids find this cringeworthy slash amusing but they love him, he’s their Father after all, just the younger version of.

As for my sister, well she wen’t through a metamorphosis that no one was expecting. Second puberty had a reverse effect. She transformed from this timid, submissive girl into a fucking Warrior Woman. None of us could believe it. Shit – well she takes none, ever, from anybody.

And as this Amazon started getting down to business she attracted a true mate. The real love of her life. She’s remarried now, happily. This ones already been through the second puberty and come out the other side unscarred and thoroughly grown up.